Vietnamese Weddings in 1910
The precepts relative to marriage are to be found in the "Ly-hi" or memorial of rites, inspired by the doctrine of Confucius. "The marriage rite completes a union between two…
Location: Vietnam
Note: This article has been excerpted from a larger work in the public domain and shared here due to its historical value. It may contain outdated ideas and language that do not reflect TOTA’s opinions and beliefs.
From On & Off Duty in Annam by Gabrielle M. Vassal, 1910.
The Annamese wife is married under the law of community of property. Thus the husband never fails in buying or selling land to mention his wife's name. The Commune inscribes her personal rights on the scroll and the trader does not forget her in important transactions.
The precepts relative to marriage are to be found in the "Ly-hi" or memorial of rites, inspired by the doctrine of Confucius. "The marriage rite completes a union between two persons of different names, in such a manner that they may serve their ancestors of the past in their temple and train future generations in their traditions."
Thus we see that Annamese civilisation, after borrowing from and being mingled with Chinese civilisation during many centuries, tends at present to follow an original track.
The Annamese marriage is, according to Luro, a free contract between those desiring it. It is rather an agreement between two families. Public authorities interfere very little. The go-between is not an official, but he is legally responsible. The details of all marriage ceremonies may be found in the Chinese Codes of the twelfth century B.C. They at first comprised six rites, but these have been greatly reduced, and few people observe them faithfully.
The go-between is generally a friend of the two families, but in big towns he is often a professional and has a big practice, knowing a great many people and being well versed in all ceremonials. The man first sends him to the home of the girl, where a proposal is made to the parents, and if the answer is favourable, the family of the young man sends them his name, age, day of birth, on a red card. The agent receives the same notifications from the girl's parents.
Soothsayers are then consulted in order to know if the families and ages of the couple suit each other. This ceremony is omitted if the parents of the couple are very anxious for the marriage and fear an unfavourable answer. The go-between fixes the wedding-day, and meantime the parents redouble their sacrifices and prayers to their ancestors. The young man's duties then begin.
Followed by a procession of relations of village chiefs, he presents himself in due course to the family of the girl and offers her presents, such as betel- and areca-nuts, and choum-choum. If these are accepted, the aspirant is from that moment considered as a son-in-law. In the case of poor families he then lives under the same roof as his fiancee. In more prosperous families the young man returns to his own home, and does not visit his fiancee again till the day fixed for his betrothal.
This is the second great function. On this occasion he again offers betel- and areca-nuts, also bracelets, coloured silks, two red tapers, two little cups of rice alcohol, and a little roasted pig.
The procession is very gay and picturesque. All are dressed in their richest costumes, many carrying parasols, the flute-players playing vigorously. On arriving at the dwelling of the fiancee, the presents are placed on the altar, the red tapers are lighted, and the alcohol is poured into the cups. The two fathers get up together and prostrate themselves before the altar, afterwards the two mothers. A feast, at which all details of etiquette are strictly observed, ends the ceremony.
The wedding-day is even more imposing. The father of the young man assembles all the relatives of the family in front of the ancestral altar, and there presents to them the child he is going to marry. He then for the third time directs his steps towards his fiance’s home. He is preceded by servants carrying presents and surrounded by a crowd of friends and relations. After a parley outside, all enter the house and range themselves round the altar. The fiance prostrates himself before the altar, and then goes up to his parents-in-law and offers them wine and betel-nuts. His own father meanwhile reads the inventory of the presents.
The couple are then taken into the room reserved for them, and standing before the altar dedicated to the divinities of marriage, on which tapers are lighted and incense burning, the parents wish them a long posterity and exhort them to remain united till death. This is the most solemn moment of the whole ceremony. Formerly it was then that the young wife raised her veil and the husband pretended to see her for the first time. The wife now prostrates herself four times before her husband, he once before his wife. They exchange cups of alcohol, and the ceremony is terminated. A banquet then takes place in which the young couple join.
Marriages among the poor are much less complicated, and those of wives of a second rank often consist of a simple contract of sale.
The practice of polygamy among the Annamese differs widely. The King of Annam has a great number of wives, but even the greatest mandarins rarely have more than four or five. The poor of necessity possess only one, for it is mere worldly fortune that regulates the number of wives. A travelling merchant or official generally has a family in each of his principal business centres, the wife acting as his commercial agent and steward. Some authors say that polygamy is due to the preponderance of female births, but it is also on account of the desire to secure to the richest and most gifted the largest posterity.
The legal wife is called the wife of the first degree: "vo chanh." She takes an important position in the household. She is the queen of the hearth. All the secondary wives, servants, &c., owe her obedience; all the children respect and honour her. At her death mourning is worn for three years, while for the death of any of the other wives it is only worn for one year, and then only by her own children. At the death of the father all the children of the different wives receive the same amount. The first legal wife retains a life interest in her husband's property. The possessions of each mother are divided among her own children.
It may be observed that the social condition of the Annamese woman has attained a high standard. Many Western civilisations have not recognised the rights of women to a greater extent.
Vassal, Gabrielle M. On & Off Duty in Annam. William Heinemann, 1910.
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