Baptism and Marriage in Greece, 1911
From Greece and the Greeks by Z. Duckett Ferriman, 1911.
From: 1911 C.E. To: 1911 C.E.
Location: Greece
Note: This article has been excerpted from a larger work in the public domain and shared here due to its historical value. It may contain outdated ideas and language that do not reflect TOTA’s opinions and beliefs.
From Greece and the Greeks by Z. Duckett Ferriman, 1911.
The Greek customs and ceremonies attendant upon birth, marriage, and death are many, and some of them peculiar. The newly born Greek child is bathed in luke-warm wine in which myrtle leaves are steeped. It is then covered with a layer of salt, which being washed off, money is thrown into the water by the relatives as a perquisite for the midwife.
When a young Mainote comes into the world he is rubbed with pepper and salt, perhaps to give him a foretaste of the hard life of that rugged province. The priest cuts a few hairs from his head, joins them with wax from an altar taper, and throws them into the water which will be used for his baptism. Then his amulet is put round his neck, and so he is started on his career. Local customs vary.
Among the poor of Athens, the infant's first garment is made out of an old shirt of the father. In Rhodes, on the eighth day after birth, its lips are touched with honey by a child, who must be the eldest of a family, with the words "Be as sweet as this honey." In Cyprus the cutting of the first tooth is made the occasion of a family festival. Friends assemble, songs are sung, and the child is ceremonially bathed in water and boiled wheat, after which thirty-two of the boiled grains are strung on a thread and stitched to its cap.
There is no fixed limit of time for baptism, but it often takes place a week after birth. It is a much more elaborate function than with us and lasts about an hour. The infant is rubbed all over with oil by his godfather. The priest mingles oil with the water in the font, blows upon it and in the infant's face, to exorcise evil spirits, then takes it in his hands, holds it up towards the east, and passes it through the air, making with it the sign of the cross.
Then comes the trine immersion. The infant is dipped three times in the water so that its entire body is covered each time. Then the priest anoints it, making the sign of the cross with the holy oil on the forehead, the tongue, the breast, the back, the palms of the hands, and the soles of the feet. It is carried three times solemnly round the font by the god-father, and if a boy, the priest carries it to the iconostasis and holds it up three times before the altar.
There are other ritual details accompanied by prayers and recitations of the creed, and the dressing of the infant partakes of a ritual character, so that the ceremony is a lengthy one. What the person principally concerned thinks of it all he does not say, but he usually gives inarticulate expression to his feelings. Henceforward he or she has a name.
Before baptism the infant is often called sideros, iron, in the hope that it will be strong. The male infant is a neepion, baby, till he is three, when he becomes pais, a boy. At twelve he is ephebos, a youth, at eighteen he is neanias, a young man, and at twenty-two he is andros, a full-grown man.
Marriages take place at all seasons except the month of May. The day chosen is usually Sunday, but the day of all days in the year is the Sunday preceding the Christmas fast. It is not fashionable now to be married in church.
In Athens the ceremony takes place in the house of the bride's parents. A temporary altar is set up in the middle of the room. At the conclusion of the ceremony the priest and the couple join hands and walk three times round the altar, the guests pelting them with comfits.
The most important part of the ceremony is the crowning of the bride and bridegroom with wreaths of orange blossom. Hence a wedding is popularly called the crowning. The koumbáros or best man holds the wreaths over the heads of the couple whilst the priest blesses them. He then crowns them, and afterwards at the time specified in the ritual changes the crowns.
The position of the koumbáros is one of real responsibility. In case of the death of the husband, it is his duty to look after the widow and children, if there are any. He is usually also the godfather of the first child—an artificial relationship with us, but not with the Greeks. The godfather becomes the brother of the parents, the uncle of the other children, and the tie is as strict as though the relationship were one of blood. It acts as a bar to intermarriage, for instance.
Love marriages are rare exceptions. The match is made by the parents and relatives rather than by the parties principally concerned, though they generally have an opportunity of learning something of each other.
There are certain established usages which, though not legally binding, are not to be contravened with impunity. Thus it is considered wrong for brothers to marry until their sisters have been wed. Again, girls must marry in order of seniority. It would not be right for a girl to be married whilst she had an elder sister who remained single. The men of a family are thus naturally anxious to see their sisters settled, and as a dowry is indispensable, its provision is often a matter of serious anxiety and the fruit of great self-denial on the part of the brothers, if the parents are dead. There are cases in which brothers have remained unmarried for years, and have devoted all their hard-earned savings to the dowries of their sisters.
Among the poorer classes emigration is resorted to, not infrequently, solely with this object, and many a dowry comes to a Greek maiden from across the Atlantic. This is a bright side of domestic life in Greece. Though woman has not the same freedom as with us, she is never left to her own resources. The family tie is, as a rule, closer and held more sacred.
Wedding customs differ with the locality, but the central feature, the crowning, is never absent. Marriage among the peasantry is more picturesque than among the townsfolk. In remote districts and in the islands quaint ceremonials linger, some of them peculiar to the region in which the wedding takes place. Generally speaking, the engaged couple must not be seen together before the betrothal. On the day appointed the parents of both parties meet in the house of the priest.
The future bride, veiled, is brought there by two of her friends and presented to the bridegroom, who leads her to the priest and asks for his blessing. Then the troth is plighted by the exchange of rings in the priest's presence. The couple see no more of each other until their wedding day.
The wedding presents, which include the domestic utensils and furniture of the new home, are carried in solemn procession through the village in many districts. There is feasting in the houses of both bride and bridegroom on the eve of the wedding day. The materials are provided by the guests and relatives, and the wedding feast is often furnished by the koumbáros.
The ceremonial dressing of the bride by her girl friends is an important function, and is generally accompanied by the singing of songs bearing on the event.
In Sparta, when the bride comes home, the bridegroom's mother awaits her at the door holding a glass of honey and water. The bride drinks some of it, in order that her words may be sweet as honey. The rest is smeared over the lintel, that the house may be free from strife. One of the guests breaks a pomegranate on the threshold. These rites form no part of the ceremonial prescribed by the Church, but the rustics cling to them. They are undoubtedly survivals of pagan antiquity.
They vary among the different populations. In some of the Cyclades the pomegranate is thrown at the door and thus broken. If some of the seeds stick it is considered a good omen. In Rhodes the pomegranate is placed on the threshold of the new dwelling, and the bride-groom crushes it with his foot as he enters. But first he dips his finger in a cup of honey and traces a cross on the door, the guests crying, "Be good and sweet as this honey." As the bride enters they throw over her grain and cotton seed, and sprinkle her with orange-flower water. In some districts the bridecake takes the form of small cakes of honey and sesame, which are not eaten at the wedding feast, but sent to the guests afterwards.
Cyprus has many peculiar customs, among which is the solemn bathing of the bride by her friends, and the bridegroom by his, a week before the marriage, a relic of lustral rites. Mount Pelion and the Magnesian peninsula differ from other localities in the fact that the bridegroom is not bound to refrain from speaking to the bride before marriage, which invariably takes place on a Sunday. On the previous Thursday there is the public kneading of the wedding loaves in the houses of the parents on both sides. On the Friday the betrothed partake of the Holy Communion together, and "the crowning" is in the future home, whilst the wedding feast is held in the houses of both families.
Among the Albanians there is one very important distinction. The husband receives no dowry with his bride. On the contrary, he supplies the trousseau, together with a sum of money previously agreed upon. Instead of the wife purchasing the husband, the husband purchases the wife. The wedding ceremonies begin on the previous Monday with the grinding of the corn, which is accompanied by rejoicings at the mill. On the Thursday there is the ceremonial bringing in of the wood for the fires and the baking of the cakes. The dough must be kneaded by a young girl, who is attired in the clothes and wears the arms of the bridegroom. The latter and his friends throw coins into the kneading-trough, her perquisites. It is an essential that both her parents must be living.
On the wedding morn the bridegroom and his friends proceed first to the bride's house, where he is sprinkled with water by her mother, who uses a spray of flowers for the purpose. The bridegroom's party then sit down to a repast whilst the bride is being dressed. Then there is a procession, accompanied by the priest, to the bridegroom's house, where the crowning takes place. The best man, vlam he is called, has many functions to perform. The bride is dressed by her friends, save for her girdle and shoes. It is the part of the vlam to invest her with these. Then he has to attend her in the procession, to see that she does not fall off her horse or mule, for she rides. He must also take care that she enters the house right foot foremost, a matter of grave importance. Then he has to unveil her for the crowning, and the veil must be lifted with a silver object, usually the handle of a dagger. Finally it is incumbent on him to steal two objects whilst the guests are making merry—ornaments or articles of domestic use. They are, of course, restored afterwards.
Sir Rennell Rodd suggests that this ritual theft has its origin in the idea of placating Nemesis by some material loss in the midst of joy. In any case, did it not occur, there would be forebodings of ill to the young couple. The marriage rites do not end with the religious ceremony. On the Monday the two families and the guests assemble to witness the eating of bread and honey by the newly married pair. Then all proceed to the village well or spring, where bride and bridegroom sprinkle each other with water.
Afterwards the bridegroom offers a repast to his father-in-law, and the next day the latter feasts him in turn, together with the principal guests. Thus the wedding and its attendant rites last a week and a day—rather a trying task for the principal parties concerned—but the Albanian bride has the privilege of being exempted from all work, except that of a light character, for the first year of her married life.
A volume might be written about the local customs which differentiate peasant marriage. Mr. Theodore Bent attended a marriage in the island of Santorin, at which priest and bride and bridegroom literally danced round the altar. The foregoing description, however, will serve to convey a notion of the general features of a Greek wedding.
Among the nomad Vlach shepherds the proceedings differ entirely. The bridegroom and his supporters simulate the ancient tribal custom of marriage by capture. They arrive fully armed and carry off the bride after a feigned resistance, and a sharp combat amid shouting and much firing of their long guns. These picturesque accessories are, of course, lacking in the nuptials held in the large towns, and an Athenian wedding is a tame affair. It loses by not being held in church, for the guests in the drawing-room have a habit of chatting all the way through the ceremony.
The English traveller Wheler saw a marriage procession at Athens in the year 1675. Describing the bride, he says: “Her face is so bedaubed with gross paint that it is not easy to determine whether she be flesh and blood, or a statue made of plaster." She walked so slowly that she could hardly be said to move at all. Wheler remarks further: " Wives go little abroad, and daughters never, as I could learn, till they go to church to be married."
The Athenian bride of to-day is better off than her ancestress in these respects. That scarcely perceptible progression, which may be taken to signify modest reluctance, is still customary in some Greek villages of Turkey. It is universal in Egypt, where the bride walks beneath a closed canopy hidden from the public gaze; but among the Christians of the Lebanon the bride is to be seen, paint and all.
Greeks, Albanians, and Vlachs marry each their own folk. Mixed marriages are very rare. The rural population hold the marriage tie and all family relationships in great reverence. They are very chaste and divorce is unknown among them, though by no means rare among the richer classes of Athens.
Ferriman, Z. Duckett. Greece and the Greeks. James Pott & Co., 1911.
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